let.it.go. week 2 blog topics

**these blog topics relate to an online bible study based on a book titled Let.It.Go. by Karen Ehman. 

Find out more about the study HERE.

PREVAIL

Proverbs 19:21

Many plans are in a man’s heart, but the LORD’s decree will prevail. (HCSB)

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand. (ESV)

We humans keep brainstorming options and plans, but God’s purpose prevails. (MSG)

Oh how this verse resonates this week as we received the news that we were not selected by an expectant mother in our adoption journey. News like this tends to hit hard after we’ve gotten a nursery ready, been in the pool of waiting families for several months, are still healing from a failed placement in October, and everyday fighting to remain joyful in the waiting.

My plans always seem to be the most expedient, most carefully organized, and highly coordinated. Give me a task and I’m on it….I’ll usually get it done quickly and perhaps even a bit early….and I’ll proof it twice for errors! But oh how different this adoption waiting process is….there is nothing to do but to wait. A dear friend, reminded me today that through this journey God is working on me and refining me….the gift of a placement of a baby at the end of the journey is just an added blessing and joy. This process is about HIM. HIS plans. HIS will. HIS providence. HIS glory. HIS fame.

Oh Father. Forgive my selfishness and desire to control. Thank you for knowing what is best for our family. Thank you for smoothing away my rough edges….some rougher than others! Keep my eyes on you, Jesus, in all things. To YOU be the glory!!!

LET GO GIRL!

“When we willingly accept our lot in life, welcoming all that God is trying to teach us through it, we lose the drive to over control, to micromanage in an all-out attempt to appear perfect and ensure everything is “just so.” pg. 54 Let.It.Go.

Father, thank you so much for this study about learning how to stop running the show and start walking in faith. God you are faithful and trustworthy. You are above all things and have my best interest in mind. Your ways are not my ways and your thoughts are higher than mine. You are patient and loving even when I don’t deserve it. You are merciful and gracious when I continue to mess up and get ahead of your plans. Thank you Father for not giving up on me. Thank you for the precious gift of your Son who is the only way I can come to you. Thank you that His righteousness covers my filthy rags. Father, forgive me for all the ways I over control. Father, forgive my tendency to talk over my husband or not hear him out. Forgive my tendency to become a martyr around the house and think I have to do everything myself if its going to be done the “right” way. Forgive me for trying to bull doze conversations so that I can get my own way. Father, I am so in need of your direction. Rid me of myself so that I can follow you with abandon. Thank you for being in control when I feel so out of control. Praise be to you now and forevermore. Amen.

STAND BY YOUR MAN

5 Biblical “dance” steps for allowing your husband to lead:

1.    Realize that the act of submitting is always a choice by and an action of the wife. A choice – meaning I have to make a deliberate decision to adapt – this is my job to adapt to him not the other way around – because it is a choice is makes it powerful and intentional in my marriage

2.  Know that backing off and not controlling your husband will feel very foreign. Um, yes. But oh what freedom will come if I can step back when my tendency is to jump in and just be quiet when everything in me wants to speak up or contradict. There is peace though, in realizing it will feel different and different in this case is good!!

3.  Recognize the subtle difference between manipulation and influence. This one I am going to spend more time on – just thinking over areas where I tend to manipulate rather than influence – to keep in mind – from the book Finding the Hero in Your Husband – “Wives are called to use their influence to help their husbands – not to manipulate. The spirit of influence is to help him make a good decision based on giving him more information. The motive of manipulation is to limit a person’s choice by “stacking the deck” unfairly. Influence is overt and clear. However, manipulation can be subtle and deceptive.” – planning to spend some time here looking up Scripture about these issues

4.  Find the unique “dance” steps that work for your marriage. “God wants “me” and “my spouse” to hammer out the particulars that make “our” marriage a uniquely “ours” display of glory. pg. 77 Let.It.Go. – this will look different for each marriage so no marriage is the same, but all should be reflecting His glory!

5.  Recognize when you need “dance” steps from a pro. I appreciate that Karen brings up the point that sometimes you do need someone else to come alongside and help you navigate a particular road…..family, community groups, trusted, Godly friends, pastors, counselors are all great resources –let’s remember though that our Father God, His Son Jesus and the Holy Spirit are our Great Counselor and the only Ones who can do “heart surgery” on us so that our marriages can be restored and redeemed!!