ahg sock hop

the girls had so much fun at the american heritage girls sock hop last month!! i'd forgotten these were on my camera so i'm just now posting them!!

let.it.go week 4 blog topics

**This post relates to an online Bible study based on the book Let.It.Go by Karen Ehman. Find out more about on Melissa Taylor's  blog by clicking HERE!

WELL, THAT WAS EASY!

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. (NIV)

Be happy [in your faith] and rejoice and be glad-hearted continually (always); Be unceasing in prayer [praying perseveringly]; Thank [God] in everything [no matter what the circumstances may be, be thankful and give thanks], for this is the will of God for you [who are] in Christ Jesus [the Revealer and Mediator of that will]. (AMP)

Kendall, be joyful.

Kendall, pray continually.

Kendall, give thanks in all circumstances.

Kendall, this is God’s will for you.

Kendall, who is in Christ Jesus.

Oh, God’s Word is always timely! Have you ever searched Scripture for an answer….but you were really looking for the answer you wanted to hear? That was me this week as we navigate the waiting portion of our adoption journey and were struggling through several decisions that needed to be made. I wanted so desperately for Scripture to tell me to follow my own desires….um, didn’t find that verse anywhere. Then I wanted to find a verse that says following and obeying God is easy and always has a fairy tale ending….no such luck there either….

Instead, God gave me these verses from 1 Thessalonians which actually have nothing to do with my wants, needs or feelings but everything to do with praising Him who reminded me that HE is the source of our joy. He is the foundation of my faith. Through faith in Him I can be joyful in all circumstances…not happy about the waiting….but joyful IN the waiting. What a reminder to be thankful for all that we do have. Which is an abundance of blessings. This is God’s will for me….to be joyful, prayerful, and thankful. Perhaps, when my focus is more on praising Him….the desire to have those other questions answered seems to just fall away.

iSCREAM

“If a sudden jar can cause me to speak an impatient, unloving word, then I know nothing of Calvary love. For a cup brimful of sweet water cannot spill even one drop of bitter water, however suddenly jolted.”

                                           Missionary Amy Carmichael

Karen Ehman mentions this week on pg. 138:

“Likewise, when someone bumps my day’s agenda, threatening to knock over the nice clear outta me, guess what happens: What is already inside of me will spill out.”

“If I react to my husband with harsh words when he interrupts my time, if I snap at a coworker for her inefficiency on a shared project, or if I answer my offspring’s call of “Mom!” for the twenty-seventh time with a harsh, angry, and witchlike “Whaaaaaaaat!!” I’m simply spilling out what is already inside.”

“Read this verse slowly, allowing its words to penetrate you soul: “A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.” Luke 6:45 NLT”

My agendas. My plans. My schedules. Ouch……

Too many times my agenda, plan or schedule has caused  stress that leaked out of me and over to my family. What has been on the inside has spilled out in frustration unnecessarily on my family because I’m feeling stressed about my agenda being threatened. Thankfully over the past few years God has shown me areas that I needed to trim in my life. Many of these activities, clubs, organizations were “good” things but just not necessary in my life and certainly weren’t beneficial to my family. Releasing those commitments actually opened a window where God showed me what His Will for me was and how my identity in Him could be best utilized right here in my own home.

Karen’s tips for trimming the fat from our schedules are very helpful and will be a tool I’ll come back to as other opportunities arise…..and I’ve found they always arise!

pg. 140

Putting the Brakes on Busy:

Stand back and ask Why? (why are we doing this activity)

Dare to be different.  (don’t do something out of habit or guilt)

Consider setting number limits. (ex: one activity per child)

Make a list and check it twice. (weigh the pros and cons and pray before you commit!)

Realize how each family member’s activities affect the others’ schedules. (is this the best time for me to be gone? How will it affect family time, etc.?)

Don’t take on more than you can pray for. (love this one!)

Say yes when you feel called, not because you consider yourself capable. (which I’d obeyed this one more)

Don’t attempt to set the world record for the most consecutive years served.

Ponder this truth: The less you’re involved in, the less your schedule will scream, and the less you just might too!

Karen writes on pg. 131 – “We grab the baton of control and keep things clipping along at breakneck speed, seldom slowing down. All the while around us are living souls who, when they don’t get with our program, immediately get on our nerves.”

Oh Father! Save me from myself and please do not let this be said of me. Rid my heart of selfish desires for affirmation from others and keep my eyes focused on an Audience of One. Help us to wisely discern what is best for our family and what needs to be trimmed. Draw me to my knees where I can come back to your source of Truth and be filled with your Living Water that will spill over to my family. Thank you for being a part of all that we do as a family and for your gentle prodding along the way. Amen.

SERENITY

Sometimes, no matter what we do to try and control a situation…we simply can’t.

Things I cannot control with our adoption:

The number of expectant mothers who contact our agency.

The number of times our profile book is shown.

The number of other families who are in the waiting pool with us.

The “type” of family that an expectant mother is looking for.

How many months/years the waiting will go on.

Proverbs 19:21

We humans keep brainstorming options and plans, but God’s purpose prevails. (MSG)

pg. 155 from Let.It.Go.

“We can attempt to change our circumstances. Sometimes it works, but not always. There are no foolproof, three-step methods for making the bad, or just the annoying, in our lives go away. Usually the only aspect we can change about our circumstances is our outlook. So we must adjust our attitudes, alter our actions, and put on a cloak of contentment in order to weather life’s circumstantial storms.”

pg. 156

“Changing our circumstances rarely changes us. What transforms our outlook and us is an attitude shift. It’s God’s job to determine our circumstances. It’s our job to cooperate with him in the midst of them, adjusting and realigning our attitudes with the truth of Scripture.”

pg. 164

“Instead of longing for God to change the trajectory of your life’s story line, look for his face as you practice your faith at each twist and turn along the way.”

Things I can control about our adoption:

I can change my attitude.

I can choose to seek God.

I can be joyful in the waiting.

I can be prayerful not pouty when it gets hard.

I can be thankful for His abundant blessings now.

I can be content.

I can seek to trust God instead of myself.

I can stand, be still, and wait on His perfect timing.

Dear God, This week I was seeking answers and although they weren’t what I wanted to hear – they were surely what I needed to hear. Your perfect plan is where we desire to be. We seek to trust and obey despite the difficulties of waiting. Help me to focus more on changing my attitude rather than my circumstances. Thank you God for these lessons this week. Your Word never fails. You are faithful. Amen.

let.it.go week 3 blog topics

**This post relates to an online Bible study I'm working on based on the book, Let.It.Go. by Karen Ehman. You can find out more about this incredible study HERE. 

DOMESTIC DIVA

Proverbs 31:27

She watches over the activities of her household (HCSB)

She looks well to how things go in her household (AMP)

She watches carefully everything in her household (NLT)

She looks well to the ways of her household (ESV)

Several thoughts from our video clips this week got me thinking….

”….there is futility in thinking all must be done MY WAY.”

“She sees different as wrong.”

“Pent up anger is sometimes the cause.”

“We over control in order to pursue the appearance of perfection.”

As I walked through this week with these chapter mulling over in my mind contrasted and held up against the passage from Proverbs 31:27. I realized just how much control issues in the home are connected to and a by product of my tongue. Ouch. I appreciated how Karen Ehman had us back up and consider verse 26.

Proverbs 31:26

She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. (ESV)

When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. (NLT)

She opens her mouth in skillful and godly Wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness (giving counsel and instruction). (AMP)

I agree with Karen…God placed these two verses right next to each other so we don’t miss the connection and the “key” to being able to maintain our households and faithfully watch over them in a way that is glorifying to Him, ennobling to our husbands, and encouraging to our children. I’ve been carrying a note card in my jacket pocket this week and each time my hand touches it I’m reminded of this verse that has convicted and humbled me this week:

Proverbs 15:1

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (ESV)

Father, as I watch over the affairs of my household, keep my tongue still until I can respond in kindness and with wisdom.

TIN-POT PAMPERS

p. 85 – micromanager: someone who wants to control every part of a business or system in a way that is not necessary or useful

p. 91 – ask myself this: “Is this really a neutral issue, and I’m just trying to control my child and get my own way? Am I hurting my child because of my own needs?”

p. 93 – Better a mom’s bleeding tongue than a son’s battered heart.

p. 95 – questions that will empower us to maintain calm emotions and keep a healthy perspective:

• 
Does it matter now?

• Will it matter tomorrow?

• Will it affect eternity?
• 
Is God trying to teach ME something? If so, what?

• Can I pause and praise instead of interrupt and instigate?
• 
Is there really an issue here that needs addressing with my child?

• Am I just being a control freak, and do I need to let it go?

Oh, I wish I hadn’t had a day like one I had last weekend…..I could feel the tension mounting knowing we had one afternoon to gather the rest of the supplies we needed for our ski trip next week….I was stressed and feeling unsettled about the long list of to do’s I had before we leave. After we got home, I had a pit in my stomach about how I had spoken to and treated my whole family. I even got mad at my oldest for not unloading our items onto the check out counter as quickly and as orderly as I would have preferred. The questions above really just convicted me so much….half of what I get a “bee in my bonnet” about has NO ETERNAL VALUE. My way is not always best and it’s okay for my family to do things differently. Oh, I need to humble myself.  Thank you Lord that today is a new today. After asking for forgiveness from my family for being so harsh yesterday….today I am seeking to respond with soft answers rather than harsh words.

HAMPERING HOME

The areas where I indicated being overly opinionated in regards to our daughters are friends, schooling, and screen time. As a homeschooling mom, all choices regarding education are left up to my husband and I. It is very easy to slip into a mode of checking off boxes and assignments rather than going after our daughters’ hearts. I am a “box checker” by nature and need to welcome the interruptions, derailments, and delays that come instead of being a “chalkboard dictator” during our school time.

There are also several influences around us in our neighborhood that are not healthy for our girls so it is a constant struggle to maintain a home where I welcome children to come play while keeping boundaries with others. Screen time is also huge for our family. Several years ago we got rid of our cable/satellite TV. We use rabbit ears during football season to watch our favorite team….but we are very rigid when it comes to screen time…and not only the time but what the content is as well.

Haggai 1:7-11
 This is what the LORD Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways. Go up into the mountains and bring down timber and build the house, so that I may take pleasure in it and be honored,” says the LORD. “You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why?” declares the LORD Almighty, “Because of my house, which remains a ruin, while each of you is busy with his own house. Therefore, because of you the heavens have withheld their dew and the earth its crops. I called for a drought on the fields and the mountains, on the grain, the new wine, the oil and whatever the ground produces, on men and cattle, and on the labor of your hands.”

I found this verse doing a search on the word - expectations….many of these trigger areas for me: friends, school and screen time involve expectations I’ve set for my daughters….but what these verses from Haggai remind me is that my priority needs to be God first in ALL things. A note from my NIV Study Bible says: Because the people had not given God first place in their lives, their work was not fruitful or productive, and their material possessions did not satisfy. While men concentrated on building and beautifying their own homes, God’s blessing was withheld because they no longer put Him first place.

Oh, I am so guilty of thinking my way is best and my priority list is in order….Father forgive me to not seeking you in all things. Only through putting you first and seeking Your will for all of these expectations for my family will we be fruitful and productive as a family. It’s all about your expectations Father…not mine.

PUT YOUR HANDS UP!

Walking way from these chapters this week and into the rest of our lives I hope to remember:

The challenge to spread kindness in my family.

To realize the power of harsh words.

To give counsel more than criticism.

To welcome the interruptions and delays to MY schedule.

To absorb that different doesn’t mean wrong.

To keep a healthy perspective by evaluating a circumstance in terms of its eternal value.

To be quick to ask for forgiveness when I blow it.

To surrender it all to my Heavenly Father who’s plans will prevail and who’s mercy is great to those who seek Him , obey Him, and follow Him.

introverted homeschooling

i came across an article today on Simple Homeschool which resonated with me that discussed being an "introverted" mom and the logistics of homeschooling with that type of personality....

check it out here: homeschooling as an introvert: the blessings and challenges

reading the article got me thinking about that myers-briggs test we all took in school - in college my results showed i was an ESFJ.....i took the test again and tested as an ISTJ!

click here to find out more about an ISTJ if you are interested and then take the test yourself!

leave a comment....i'd love to hear what you are too!!

let.it.go. week 2 blog topics

**these blog topics relate to an online bible study based on a book titled Let.It.Go. by Karen Ehman. 

Find out more about the study HERE.

PREVAIL

Proverbs 19:21

Many plans are in a man’s heart, but the LORD’s decree will prevail. (HCSB)

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand. (ESV)

We humans keep brainstorming options and plans, but God’s purpose prevails. (MSG)

Oh how this verse resonates this week as we received the news that we were not selected by an expectant mother in our adoption journey. News like this tends to hit hard after we’ve gotten a nursery ready, been in the pool of waiting families for several months, are still healing from a failed placement in October, and everyday fighting to remain joyful in the waiting.

My plans always seem to be the most expedient, most carefully organized, and highly coordinated. Give me a task and I’m on it….I’ll usually get it done quickly and perhaps even a bit early….and I’ll proof it twice for errors! But oh how different this adoption waiting process is….there is nothing to do but to wait. A dear friend, reminded me today that through this journey God is working on me and refining me….the gift of a placement of a baby at the end of the journey is just an added blessing and joy. This process is about HIM. HIS plans. HIS will. HIS providence. HIS glory. HIS fame.

Oh Father. Forgive my selfishness and desire to control. Thank you for knowing what is best for our family. Thank you for smoothing away my rough edges….some rougher than others! Keep my eyes on you, Jesus, in all things. To YOU be the glory!!!

LET GO GIRL!

“When we willingly accept our lot in life, welcoming all that God is trying to teach us through it, we lose the drive to over control, to micromanage in an all-out attempt to appear perfect and ensure everything is “just so.” pg. 54 Let.It.Go.

Father, thank you so much for this study about learning how to stop running the show and start walking in faith. God you are faithful and trustworthy. You are above all things and have my best interest in mind. Your ways are not my ways and your thoughts are higher than mine. You are patient and loving even when I don’t deserve it. You are merciful and gracious when I continue to mess up and get ahead of your plans. Thank you Father for not giving up on me. Thank you for the precious gift of your Son who is the only way I can come to you. Thank you that His righteousness covers my filthy rags. Father, forgive me for all the ways I over control. Father, forgive my tendency to talk over my husband or not hear him out. Forgive my tendency to become a martyr around the house and think I have to do everything myself if its going to be done the “right” way. Forgive me for trying to bull doze conversations so that I can get my own way. Father, I am so in need of your direction. Rid me of myself so that I can follow you with abandon. Thank you for being in control when I feel so out of control. Praise be to you now and forevermore. Amen.

STAND BY YOUR MAN

5 Biblical “dance” steps for allowing your husband to lead:

1.    Realize that the act of submitting is always a choice by and an action of the wife. A choice – meaning I have to make a deliberate decision to adapt – this is my job to adapt to him not the other way around – because it is a choice is makes it powerful and intentional in my marriage

2.  Know that backing off and not controlling your husband will feel very foreign. Um, yes. But oh what freedom will come if I can step back when my tendency is to jump in and just be quiet when everything in me wants to speak up or contradict. There is peace though, in realizing it will feel different and different in this case is good!!

3.  Recognize the subtle difference between manipulation and influence. This one I am going to spend more time on – just thinking over areas where I tend to manipulate rather than influence – to keep in mind – from the book Finding the Hero in Your Husband – “Wives are called to use their influence to help their husbands – not to manipulate. The spirit of influence is to help him make a good decision based on giving him more information. The motive of manipulation is to limit a person’s choice by “stacking the deck” unfairly. Influence is overt and clear. However, manipulation can be subtle and deceptive.” – planning to spend some time here looking up Scripture about these issues

4.  Find the unique “dance” steps that work for your marriage. “God wants “me” and “my spouse” to hammer out the particulars that make “our” marriage a uniquely “ours” display of glory. pg. 77 Let.It.Go. – this will look different for each marriage so no marriage is the same, but all should be reflecting His glory!

5.  Recognize when you need “dance” steps from a pro. I appreciate that Karen brings up the point that sometimes you do need someone else to come alongside and help you navigate a particular road…..family, community groups, trusted, Godly friends, pastors, counselors are all great resources –let’s remember though that our Father God, His Son Jesus and the Holy Spirit are our Great Counselor and the only Ones who can do “heart surgery” on us so that our marriages can be restored and redeemed!!

february birchbox

february birchbox review:

beauty protector (red bottle) protect and detangle ($21.95)

great for all hair types this spray performs seven hair-healing functions such as locking in color, adding shine, and instantly detangling

i did not test this one as my hair is so short and i really don't need a product like this, however, my girlies tested it on their locks. claire loved the way it smells but didn't really think it worked too well to detangle...she also thought, and I agree that it left her hair stiff...maybe she sprayed too much...

we give it a C+/B-

jouer matte moisture tint ($38)

SPF 15 oil free tinted moisturizer that blends in perfectly to even out skin and control shine - tested in nude tint

one thing that testing out these products has made me realize is the importance of priming my skin before make up...i wasn't so sure initially about a tinted product, but i really liked it. it smoothes out my skin tone and is a perfect primer for make up. a little goes a long way....

i give this an A and will probably pick some up from birchbox

kiehl's powerful wrinkle reducing cream ($52)

anti-aging treatment with moisturizer - has calcium and copper to restore elasticity and reduce wrinkles..i'm all about reducing wrinkles but just wasn't wild about this product - i like the idea but don't think i'd replace what i'm using now to switch to this

i'd give it a B-

oscar de la renta live in love perfume ($78)

um no. again i'm just not a perfume girl and really don't care for this sandalwood and cedar based scent...

big fat D- on this one

summary:

beauty protector protect and detangle  C+/B-

jouer matte moisture tint   A

kiehl's powerful wrinkle reducing cream   B-

oscar de la renta live in love perfume   D-

ready....aim!!

a few pictures and videos from the girls' first archery class last week! so fun!!!!!