let.it.go week 3 blog topics

**This post relates to an online Bible study I'm working on based on the book, Let.It.Go. by Karen Ehman. You can find out more about this incredible study HERE. 

DOMESTIC DIVA

Proverbs 31:27

She watches over the activities of her household (HCSB)

She looks well to how things go in her household (AMP)

She watches carefully everything in her household (NLT)

She looks well to the ways of her household (ESV)

Several thoughts from our video clips this week got me thinking….

”….there is futility in thinking all must be done MY WAY.”

“She sees different as wrong.”

“Pent up anger is sometimes the cause.”

“We over control in order to pursue the appearance of perfection.”

As I walked through this week with these chapter mulling over in my mind contrasted and held up against the passage from Proverbs 31:27. I realized just how much control issues in the home are connected to and a by product of my tongue. Ouch. I appreciated how Karen Ehman had us back up and consider verse 26.

Proverbs 31:26

She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. (ESV)

When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. (NLT)

She opens her mouth in skillful and godly Wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness (giving counsel and instruction). (AMP)

I agree with Karen…God placed these two verses right next to each other so we don’t miss the connection and the “key” to being able to maintain our households and faithfully watch over them in a way that is glorifying to Him, ennobling to our husbands, and encouraging to our children. I’ve been carrying a note card in my jacket pocket this week and each time my hand touches it I’m reminded of this verse that has convicted and humbled me this week:

Proverbs 15:1

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (ESV)

Father, as I watch over the affairs of my household, keep my tongue still until I can respond in kindness and with wisdom.

TIN-POT PAMPERS

p. 85 – micromanager: someone who wants to control every part of a business or system in a way that is not necessary or useful

p. 91 – ask myself this: “Is this really a neutral issue, and I’m just trying to control my child and get my own way? Am I hurting my child because of my own needs?”

p. 93 – Better a mom’s bleeding tongue than a son’s battered heart.

p. 95 – questions that will empower us to maintain calm emotions and keep a healthy perspective:

• 
Does it matter now?

• Will it matter tomorrow?

• Will it affect eternity?
• 
Is God trying to teach ME something? If so, what?

• Can I pause and praise instead of interrupt and instigate?
• 
Is there really an issue here that needs addressing with my child?

• Am I just being a control freak, and do I need to let it go?

Oh, I wish I hadn’t had a day like one I had last weekend…..I could feel the tension mounting knowing we had one afternoon to gather the rest of the supplies we needed for our ski trip next week….I was stressed and feeling unsettled about the long list of to do’s I had before we leave. After we got home, I had a pit in my stomach about how I had spoken to and treated my whole family. I even got mad at my oldest for not unloading our items onto the check out counter as quickly and as orderly as I would have preferred. The questions above really just convicted me so much….half of what I get a “bee in my bonnet” about has NO ETERNAL VALUE. My way is not always best and it’s okay for my family to do things differently. Oh, I need to humble myself.  Thank you Lord that today is a new today. After asking for forgiveness from my family for being so harsh yesterday….today I am seeking to respond with soft answers rather than harsh words.

HAMPERING HOME

The areas where I indicated being overly opinionated in regards to our daughters are friends, schooling, and screen time. As a homeschooling mom, all choices regarding education are left up to my husband and I. It is very easy to slip into a mode of checking off boxes and assignments rather than going after our daughters’ hearts. I am a “box checker” by nature and need to welcome the interruptions, derailments, and delays that come instead of being a “chalkboard dictator” during our school time.

There are also several influences around us in our neighborhood that are not healthy for our girls so it is a constant struggle to maintain a home where I welcome children to come play while keeping boundaries with others. Screen time is also huge for our family. Several years ago we got rid of our cable/satellite TV. We use rabbit ears during football season to watch our favorite team….but we are very rigid when it comes to screen time…and not only the time but what the content is as well.

Haggai 1:7-11
 This is what the LORD Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways. Go up into the mountains and bring down timber and build the house, so that I may take pleasure in it and be honored,” says the LORD. “You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why?” declares the LORD Almighty, “Because of my house, which remains a ruin, while each of you is busy with his own house. Therefore, because of you the heavens have withheld their dew and the earth its crops. I called for a drought on the fields and the mountains, on the grain, the new wine, the oil and whatever the ground produces, on men and cattle, and on the labor of your hands.”

I found this verse doing a search on the word - expectations….many of these trigger areas for me: friends, school and screen time involve expectations I’ve set for my daughters….but what these verses from Haggai remind me is that my priority needs to be God first in ALL things. A note from my NIV Study Bible says: Because the people had not given God first place in their lives, their work was not fruitful or productive, and their material possessions did not satisfy. While men concentrated on building and beautifying their own homes, God’s blessing was withheld because they no longer put Him first place.

Oh, I am so guilty of thinking my way is best and my priority list is in order….Father forgive me to not seeking you in all things. Only through putting you first and seeking Your will for all of these expectations for my family will we be fruitful and productive as a family. It’s all about your expectations Father…not mine.

PUT YOUR HANDS UP!

Walking way from these chapters this week and into the rest of our lives I hope to remember:

The challenge to spread kindness in my family.

To realize the power of harsh words.

To give counsel more than criticism.

To welcome the interruptions and delays to MY schedule.

To absorb that different doesn’t mean wrong.

To keep a healthy perspective by evaluating a circumstance in terms of its eternal value.

To be quick to ask for forgiveness when I blow it.

To surrender it all to my Heavenly Father who’s plans will prevail and who’s mercy is great to those who seek Him , obey Him, and follow Him.